Peace

Wow, has it really been that long since I've posted something on here? Odd, when I didn't have a blog I had anxiety about getting one. Now that I have one, I sometimes get anxiety over not posting enough. It's that old creative dichotomy of genuine creative expression vs. pleasing an audience.

What an insane couple of months it's been since my last post.

I re-enrolled in college (in November) only to have my car crap out on me the first week of classes (January). November was mostly a blur. 

In December I found out my mother had a heart condition that required prompt action. Surgical action. My one surviving parent. December was also the month that ushered in probably the biggest fight I've ever had with a romantic partner. Ever. Happy New Year, we're through!

January started off with two friends basically watching over me and keeping me out of the hospital. Part grief, part self-induced inebriated state. I've never gotten drunk to numb emotional pain. It doesn't work. It was also the month my mother had open heart surgery.

The tragi-comedy of my flying to New York to be by my mother's side will surely someday be rich fodder for a best-selling book or poignant movie. Obviously, she pulled through. If it hadn't been for Brian being my lifeline at the hospital (we decided to work things out) I would be writing this blog post in blood and feces on the walls of my padded cell.

So, finally, my life has calmed down. Back to taking care of wonderfully banal tasks like homework, paying bills and domestic chores. I have a renewed appreciation for normalcy.

I have the most wonderful friends and loved ones who continually watched over and cared for me. Some sent me money to help out with my bills, some gave me emotional support, one paid for my flight to New York, others cat-sat while I was gone, and still another saved my car from certain death. Brian's love and support defies definition by its sheer volume and strength. I only hope I haven't cashed in all my karma points. I also rekindled an old friendship after not having seen each other for about thirteen years.

I have plenty to draw inspiration from, I am humbled, and I am thankful. I am at peace.