About time

This morning I woke up at 6:00 am on the dot after a long (for me), restful sleep. It was still darkish out and the sky was that predawn shade of periwinkle; the color of sleep. One lone bird was nestled in the tree line outside my living room window chirping like mad; except for that it was quiet.

I define myself as a morning person; others have termed me as having "nuclear" morning energy. Judging by the reprimands I've gotten in the past for being downright obnoxious, I'm pretty sure I'm not in sync with most people.

By morning person, I mean that without an alarm clock, I'm usually up by 7:30ish, and moving about in a buzz of blindingly quick energy by 8:00. If I had few or no neighbors to be considerate of, I'd be blasting music too, of the Ministry/Van Halen variety.

I really despise the aspect of culture that has (and I'm thinking specifically of advertising here) demonized mornings. Bleary-eyed zombies can only become humanly upbeat by consuming this coffee, the horrible morning commute, the time-rush vs. healthy breakfast, the blare of the alarm clock... Seriously, why do people buy into that garbage? Oh, and Dunkin Donuts coffee RULES.

But I digress. I'm usually not up this early, but it doesn't really bother me; I know I got a good night's sleep. I think if people just paid more attention to their Circadian rhythms, and less to cultural pressures, we'd all be better off. So what, you have to be at work by 9:00 am? Without the aid of alarm clocks or distractions, see how many hours of sleep you need before you naturally wake up. The popular adage is "get eight hours of rest," but I've seen that most people desire or require more (or maybe that's just the appeal of exercising that luxury).

Because I woke up so damn early, I have a lot of time on my hands today to get things done before the world comes rushing in. How awesome is it that by noon today, I'll probably have most of my chores and tasks done? By the way, if Saturday morning cartoons were more entertaining, I'd have them on. I used to watch them religiously, but now they all seem to be about I'M (SMARTER, STRONGER, MORE CLEVER, RICHER) BETTER THAN YOU. Ugh.

If you can't shake the imposed work schedule most of us have to adhere to, why not learn to work with the flow instead of against it? Think about it. Or am I being delusional? Maybe because I'm a morning person, I can't relate to how crummy most people actually feel when they wake up.

The opposite holds true in that generally, people want ME to adhere to their nighttime schedule. My mom was (and is) an unrepentant night owl and marathon sleeper; my diametric sleep opposite. My morning-ness, by the way, is hereditary. It wasn't until after my father passed away that my mom told me Dad used to be an early riser/breakfaster/doer. When I saw him ambling about most days, I thought he was just up at sunrise due to his work hours.

I don't hit the snooze button ten times before actually getting up. If after I'm awake (and at the peak of my energy) I stay in bed, I actually get very irritable. If by some miracle, I go back to sleep, when I wake up all my energy and pep is gone, and I feel, well, hung over and kind of run down.

It took practically a lifetime for my mom to learn this; I just don't function well at night. She usually stays up until about three in the morning (if not later). When I lived with her, she'd wake me up at midnight or later to watch some funny TV with her (like Benny Hill). I'm not complaining; I saw some really funny late night shit and weird cartoon marathons. I also think this is why I now sometimes get insomnia.

I get sleepy around 10-ish (this hasn't wavered since I was a kid) and usually knock out before midnight. The fun part comes about when I wake up four to six hours later, and can't get back to sleep. Thanks goes to Dad too, for the militant, unwavering precision of my internal clock. Even though Mom now finally understands we operate differently, when she visited me this past winter she tried to keep me up past my natural bedtime to watch TV with her. The kicker? She gets mad at me for falling asleep! Hell, I could drink a full pot of coffee and still; put me in a dark, cozy room where I don't have to be actively engaged, past 11:00, and dammit, I'm probably going to fall out.

Mornings are the best! The promise of a whole new day is laid out before you. This is when my mind is sharpest, too; I'm most inspired to write as soon as I wake up. Believe it or not, I'd rather be left to my own ruminations so I can stay focused. Making small talk, lingering about with half-asleep folk while precious minutes tick away, that just kills me. Thankfully, all it takes for most people to back off, is a full blast of "nuclear me."

It's not that I don't like to socialize, it's that I don't like to slow down to wait for anyone while I'm high-octane. Unfortunately, while interacting with most, for me this means sitting down, and between painfully long, strained pauses, not doing what I'm naturally inclined to do. I try not to jump up, and move about at maximum warp and efficacy while (usually) singing and/or dancing. I'm not so good at self-restraint.

Since most people aren't hyper-awake prior to noon, why not just give me a wide berth to accomplish what I need to do? Why not leave me be to sleep at night when my body shuts down, and not get offended that I just can't re-wire my synapses to be a night person? I don't call people at 7:00 am to shout out a GREAT MORNING WAKE UP, or force a hearty breakfast on them, or annoy neighbors/roommates by blasting heavy metal (okay, so I have done that before but not on purpose, now I just wear a MP3 player with ear plugs).

Being forced outside one's natural sleep schedule sucks. I think everyone should have an "in-your-shoes" day. When I was about 13, Mom and I traveled from New York City to the Canadian border by bus. We departed at midnight and arrived at our first pit stop (a diner) at around 6:00 am. My mom watched in horror (oh I wish I'd had a camera to capture the look on her face) as I ordered a lumberjack's breakfast, then ate both MY food and HERS. That was when she realized how much my father's daughter I really was. After that, she pretty much stopped bothering me late at night.

To this day, my Mom unplugs her land line, refuses to go/be anywhere until after noon, and schedules all her appointments for later in the day unless it's unavoidable. As with her, I still have to continuously redraw my boundaries. I have to constantly gently remind people not to take it personally; the later it gets, the less socially engaged I become. What I think people remember the most, though, usually comes after they see my energy level: MORNING PERSON, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.