It all comes from one simple question; am I on the right track? I'm sure most people, if not everyone has asked themselves this at least once in their life.
Is it better to stick to my guns, or be flexible? One one hand, I want to focus focus focus all my efforts towards building a freelance writing business. But on the other hand, I've never operated my own business and there is still so much more to do.
What if, after all my efforts, some obscure legal thing pops up and I lose what little ground I have gained? I'm not letting this deter me; after all, time and experience has taught me I was born to be an entrepreneur. Still, it worries the heck out of me.
Do I need a business plan? Do I need a lawyer? Should I register with the Better Business Bureau? What, if any, should my logo be? Am I writing too much or not enough? Are my services valuable? Who the heck do I think I am, anyways?
I keep telling myself: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I do believe in this ideal. Same goes for "Carpe Diem." But, like everyone else, I am just looking for some security. I truly, truly wish I had the same capacity other people do, to align myself with a company as a paid employee. But, many jobs later and differing industries later, the only constant is that gnawing anger in the pit of my stomach that develops when I see a screw up get accolades while my efforts go unrecognized. Or having to partake in small office talk, and deferentially listen to people drone on and on in a one-sided manner about their lives. Ha, kind of like I'm doing here, except I give the reader (if there are any) the power and freedom to choose; stay and read, or go.
I'm somewhat stuck between seeking false security or forging ahead and damn it all. Normally I'd go for damn it all without hesitation, but now things have changed. There are aspects of this life I actually want to hold on to. Not necessarily where I currently live, but people I've met, relationships that have formed and so on give me pause.
Walking a middle path isn't easy for me. Previous incarnations of my life were always without tenets. I could easily pull up stakes and move to another city (or leave the country), pursue a different line of work (but nothing sleazy), or just plain disappear. It's a good thing I'm not such a non-entity anymore. And yet...there are consequences to my actions. Support. Expectations. Advice. Always lingering above; the questions.
I sincerely hope I'm on the right track.
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