Detachment

Last night there was a Lost watching party at my place. I'm not sure if there are three or four episodes left, I just look forward to next week's all new episode.

Which brings me meandering to the point of this whole blog entry. Thanks to the support of my friends and loved ones, I am beginning to finally understand the concept of detachment. I don't know about other people, but to me the word "detachment" has negative connotations. Same goes for "self-love" and "ambition." It conjures up ruthlessness and a Machiavellian disposition.

Another friend of mine, whose opinion I highly value, has mentioned one of the types of detachment I had been looking for. Mind you, I didn't know I was looking for it. She talks about pursuing one's goals without fear of lustful result.

Let that marinate for a moment; that is no small feat for us self-serving carbon-based life forms. I mean heck, isn't just about EVERYTHING we do striving for results? The ongoing pursuit to achieve permanent homeostasis colors most of our ambitions and goals: transportation, shelter, nourishment... Of course, I can't leave behind our other purpose; propagation of the species.

Translation into the neat little self-propelled circle of non-action I had ensconced myself into; my head (and constant loving support) kept telling me go go go go do it! Why then was I digging in my heels more every day and not changing my methodology? Simple, my ego wouldn't let me. I was attached to the past; reliving real and imagined slights on my achievements. Ego = attachment.

As my other dear friend said to me last night: things that happen in the past serve their purpose to put you on a new one, and what a bright path this one is. I can't see what's in front of me until I can let go of what's holding me back (to flirt with a quasi-cliche).

Thank you, dear friends and loved ones, for not letting me give up.


Carpe Diem.